You've Got the Wrong Girl

Ok Ladies. This is addressed to you from a very personal conviction. Let me share a secret with you:

Prostitution.is.wrong.

"Abby. We know that. You don't need to tell us. We're not prostitutes."

No? I believe it. I think the majority of Christian girls stay away from this sort of situation. But nonetheless, many girls fall prey to a form of modern-day prostitution. Many girls like me, who seem to just attract the wrong sort of men. I know my words in this post are not original, and many people have probably heard this before. Let me explain.

Have you ever been asked on a date? Have you been asked on a date by a man who seems acceptable and proper? I hope you have. And I hope, for your sake, that your date wasn't cut short before it even happened.

I once had the pleasure of being "sought" by a guy--let's say Bob--I met. I honestly didn't think I'd ever hear from him after he asked for my number, but he called. I was doubly surprised when he contacted me even after I'd had a talk with his cousin. His cousin is the sort of man who wants only sex. When I told him I refused to give that, he said he realized he had me pegged as "the wrong kinda girl." I heartily agreed. I figured it was the end of our short-lived friendship and moved on. However, in our conversation later, Bob insisted he still wanted a date, something that would "mean something," adding that his cousin "is an animal." Hopefulness! Yes! Happily, we established date details. But still: "Well, what about after?" he asked me. Oh boy. Oh no. Oh man. The "after" insinuation.

Payment, ladies. He was looking for some payment. He was willing to get anything. I won't have sex, I told him. Sorry. "I respect that. What are you willing to give?" I was partly astounded. Where had I missed this part of his character before? Essentially, he was thinking, 'If I'm willing to shell out money to take you on a date and pretend to be interested in getting to know you for four hours, I better be getting something in return.'

My blood boils thinking about the fact that men like this exist! That they have the audacity to ask girls on a pseudo-date just to get into her pants! This, dear ones, is prostitution. The problem that I find is that girls will agree to a date, suspecting that a man may ask for sexual favors in return.

Our culture today has become squished in our own individual glory. We thus believe that a date--a time of humility in earnest servitude of another, with the hopes of getting to know each other respectfully--taxes us personally so much that we MUST get something in return for it. Yes, ladies, even we do this sometimes. How shameful. It's a part of our fallen nature that we relentlessly pursue our own self-gratification. Sometimes without meaning to, but usually it's intentional. And yep, I'll be biased and tell you that Christian youth usually avoid this...until we're more comfortable with each other; that's a whole different story. But to start off a date with a new person, expecting a "fun time" afterward? This is straight prostitution.

Is this sort of behavior so surprising? As Dr. R.J. Rushdoony says, in Old Testament law, out of the 17 capital crimes, six of them have to do with sex and eight with the family. In the New Testament, Paul tells us repeatedly that the works of the flesh are sexual immorality and temptation (Galatians 5, for example). In the Garden of Eden, Eve's sin was physical. As the Word says in Gen. 3:6, "The woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof and ate...." Her sin (among other things) was to pursue to a forbidden physical fruit. And in our culture, we have become obsessed with this same fruit that Eve sought--sexual immorality. John Milton makes an incredible point in his epic poem Paradise Lost: Adam and Eve, after eating the fruit, lusted for, not loved, each other. Their actions became harsh, animalistic, and primal. There was no love--no selflessness--in their relationship anymore. Lovemaking is giving, caring, and gentle. Sex/lust is selfish, taking, and brutal. It is this same lustful, selfish spirit that powers the modern-day prostitution movement. Scripture prophesied this struggle. Is it thus so shocking that we fulfill Scripture's predictions and fall prey to the exact same temptations and sins that our first parents did? Sin does not discriminate between Christians and non-Christians.

Dear friends. I pray you have more respect for yourself than to be sold so cheaply as a dinner and a movie. You're worth far more than that. I don't care how cute or charming he is, or how well you connected. Any man who hints at physical retribution for a date is a scallion, a wretch, an absolutely detestable reprobate who deserves to be shunned. If any man tries that, your answer must must be to tell him shamelessly that he's "got the wrong girl."